I did it again. I doubted.
A couple weeks ago I was praising God like crazy. We had been praying for change of heart in a friend's despondent husband. And God did it. Just like that. God doesn't need time. He doesn't need permission. He doesn't need statistics or probabilities. He acts or he doesn't. But it's not because he can't.
So I had praised up and down, left and right. "Friends, dream BIG because we have a BIG God!" Yes, I was shouting about His power from the mountaintops.
But I had forgotten that.
So this week when Jim challenged the church to share our Gospel stories I was afraid. How am I going to get that opportunity? Am I going to have to force my sister or dad to listen to my redemptive story? I don't want that. I mean, I want to share it naturally, when "God just makes it happen". Yeah, right.
Still, I prayed. I asked God for opportunities to share the story of how he transformed me from worrying, insecure, lost, and desperate--how he transformed me into a woman of strength, determination, and freedom. THE story. MY story. HIS story. But I didn't think it would happen.
I rejoiced with Jim when he reported several opportunities to share his story. It just happens for him. I kept praying, but I was doubtful.
And then it happened. Yes, just like that. It happened in the courtyard next to our apartment building at a neighborhood mixer that I didn't want to go to. Jim invited me over to say hi to a neighbor RJ and his girlfriend Bekah, who has cheek piercings, bright red lipstick, and platinum blonde hair.
I didn't even know it was going to happen. We were just talking, and then Jim shared where he grew up, how he grew up, and when Jesus changed his life. It was just like that, and then in my head I was sticking up my hand like "Pick me! I'm next!" It was like jumping into double dutch. And then I was telling Bekah what God did. Slowly, slowly, what he is doing. How he's still saving me every single day from being alone and feeling lost.
Y'all, God is sweet. His timing is perfect. And he absolutely can do ANYTHING.
God, forgive our unbelief. Clear doubt from our eyes. You are the one who can do immeasurably more than anything we think or ask. Thank you for the power, comfort, and guidance of your Spirit within us. I have your love, and you have mine!